Fabulously well-constructed. The verisimilitude is spot-on. The build-up, the brevity of the entity's appearance, the shocking disappearance of asshole Drew...all as well executed as anything I've ever read. Stephen King move over...or better yet, take your aging Hippie butt to a closed-down K-Mart and disappear.
I went to a local Kmart as the Bankruptcy was happening and they were liquidating everything. It was one that hadn't been remodeled in a long time. Was awful one of the most depressing vibes I ever felt. Side note in the Nineties that every time I went in I suddenly had explosive diarrhea within 10 minutes of walking in the store, not like once or twice, but a dozen times easily. I swear it was something with the fluorescent lighting.
No never that bad I always made it. After the first 2-3 times I would just go straight to the bathroom as soon as I got in the store, then did my shopping
But I have romped around an abandoned naval base multiple times. Can't do it anymore, though. The city it was posted in finally reclaimed it. Bit of a shame, there was some wild stuff to be found in there.
This was a thought-provoking and idea-inspiring story! How do we deal with death? Of a stranger who lived in the house before us? Of a chain of stores? Of a decade? What if we don't deal with death properly? What does that do to us?
"And she had to be the strangest little girl I’ve ever seen in my whole life." < delete that sentence and you'll see the ghost reveal will become way more powerful.
Excellently creepy and well told. I like the narration style and the idea of it being a found paranormal activity post. Fantastic. Dying Kmarts are depressing and eerie, but I never saw the poor dead fish.
I remember when the K-Mart in my home town died. It was so much like this. You took me back. Great writing ❤️
Fabulously well-constructed. The verisimilitude is spot-on. The build-up, the brevity of the entity's appearance, the shocking disappearance of asshole Drew...all as well executed as anything I've ever read. Stephen King move over...or better yet, take your aging Hippie butt to a closed-down K-Mart and disappear.
I went to a local Kmart as the Bankruptcy was happening and they were liquidating everything. It was one that hadn't been remodeled in a long time. Was awful one of the most depressing vibes I ever felt. Side note in the Nineties that every time I went in I suddenly had explosive diarrhea within 10 minutes of walking in the store, not like once or twice, but a dozen times easily. I swear it was something with the fluorescent lighting.
Please tell us you shat in Aisle 5.
Oh, to be hear the voice over the speaker, "Diarrhea Boy is back. Clean up on Aisle 5."
No never that bad I always made it. After the first 2-3 times I would just go straight to the bathroom as soon as I got in the store, then did my shopping
There’s an empty K-mart in the town next to me and it was creepy when it was going out of business and was the last Kmart in the state!
Great story.
Have I ever been in a dying K-Mart? No.
But I have romped around an abandoned naval base multiple times. Can't do it anymore, though. The city it was posted in finally reclaimed it. Bit of a shame, there was some wild stuff to be found in there.
I liked it, very convincing 1st person tale of a creepy experience.
Well done!
spooked/10
This was a thought-provoking and idea-inspiring story! How do we deal with death? Of a stranger who lived in the house before us? Of a chain of stores? Of a decade? What if we don't deal with death properly? What does that do to us?
"And she had to be the strangest little girl I’ve ever seen in my whole life." < delete that sentence and you'll see the ghost reveal will become way more powerful.
Excellent! Reminded me of early Stephen King !
Yes!! Same here on the old, decrepit, low, low ceilinged, blue light haunted K-mart!!
Enjoyed this read very much, had me hooked!👻
Great writing!! Had me nervous😱
Excellently creepy and well told. I like the narration style and the idea of it being a found paranormal activity post. Fantastic. Dying Kmarts are depressing and eerie, but I never saw the poor dead fish.
Great story! Great story. I like the voice of the narrator. That simple style was a good choice.